Long ago, before media hype and the i-pod application, I would be suffering from a 'bad cough'. As usual, the smelly child brought it home from school, where all the other smelly children go to spread infections by wiping snot on each others clothes.
The kid, being made up of cells tougher than an unprotected Gouda, came home with a bit of a cough and a bunged up nose. Yesterday she got a nosebleed of epic proportions that scared the teachers so much we had to go and pick her up.. anyway..
I have a cough... or is it a cough!?.... my mum has taken the liberty of declaring to the rest of the family to "stay away... they all have swine flu!", I looked on the interweb at swine flu symptoms;
headache
temperature
loss of appetite
nausea/vomiting/diarrhoea
a cough
blocked nose
fatigue
aches and pains
swollen glands
chest pain
any one or all of the above.. sounds pretty vague to me. Couldn't these signs also indicate, glandular fever, appendix, vomiting bug, m.r.s.a, e-coli, porridge poisoning, red gannet fever, tapeworm infestation, pigeon wee poisoning, wheels disease, AND A BILLION OTHER THINGS.
I feel particularly shite, for a normal cough.. but, I can still drag my arse out into the gale force winds and torrential rain to feed all the useless animals...despite having swollen glands, a tight chest, a cough, a blocked nose, extreme fatigue, pains in my kidneys, and squinty eyes.... surely if I had a terrifying thing such as SWINE FLU, I'd be unable to move from my position in bed and spontaneously die as soon as I did?....
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